Reality Check and the Perception of a Woman
So let me start this off by saying….I LOVE WOMEN. I LOVE ALL WOMEN! I LOVE THE LOOK OF A WOMAN! THE WALK OF A WOMAN! THE SMELL OF A WOMAN! THE CURVE OF A WOMAN! THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN! I LOVE INTELLIGENT WOMEN! I LOVE POWERFUL WOMEN! I LOVE INSPIRATIONAL WOMEN! I LOVE STRONG WOMEN!DAMNIT…I JUST LOVE WOMEN!! LOL
I am not saying this only in a physical or sexual manner. I feel that women are queens and should be treated as such. I have an infant/toddler daughter that I am trying my best raise up to be a prominent woman in society. I have always felt this way about women. I was raised old school. If I see you carrying something that looks heavy, I grab it. If you are behind me or even if I see you exiting a room, I hold the door. Its nothing special and nothing that SHOULD be applauded, its called RESPECT! Unfortunately, society of today’s time doesn’t seem to appreciate that same respect. So many women of today, do not even EXPECT to be treated in this way. I don’t know how many times I have held a door for a lady for them to say…”oooh thank you so much…chivalry is not dead!” No it’s not, you simply do not demand it any more.
This had me thinking about women in general and I was taking a look at the images and perceptions of women on television. Let me just say this……….WE NEED TO DO BETTER!!! In some form or fashion, we are all responsible for the future in some way. In particular, all these new reality shows are disturbing. Basketball Wives, Mob Wives, Love & Hip Hop, Jersey Shore, Bad Girls Club, Housewives of (add your city here) paint a pretty negative picture of the woman I have grown to love.
This lead me to the thought of how this has become so acceptable and popular b/c of the money involved. Never mind the moral or ethical issues, it makes money, so we run with it. I’m curious as to why this is not discussed as much as Hip-Hop/Rap was discussed years ago. Why are shows like those listed above being partly blamed for some of the downfalls and actions of our youthful women? Throughout my day, I have surrounded myself with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and I have NEVER seen women argue, curse, and fight this much. Especially not in the public eye. Its crazy, It’s ridiculous and just foolish to portray the lives that women lead in this manner. Do grown women really have the time and energy to argue, fuss, and fight like this all day??
I feel that this should be a concern for what our ladies have to look up to. If movies/music can cause or suggest murders and violent behavior(not that I necessarily believe or support this theory…keep reading)…..I feel this should be a cause for concern as well. Jay-Z mentioned this in his song “Ignorant Shit” along with some other good points that went unheard. But on the track, Jay says,
“I missed the part where it stopped being about Imus
What do my lyrics got to do with this SHIT?
SCARFACE the movie did more than Scarface the rapper to me
Still that ain’t the blame for all the shit that’s happened to me
Are you saying what I’m spitting,
Is worse than these celebutantes showin’ they kitten, you kidding?
Lets stop the bullshittin’
Til’ we all without sin, let’s quit the pulpit-ing”
I do not and will not allow my daughter to believe that this is life, that this is the way that a young lady should carry herself. *MAYBE YA’LL missed part of that last statement. I….Wizdom…”WILL NOT ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS LIFE,, THAT THIS IS THE WAY A YOUNG LADY SHOULD CARRY HERSELF” <—This is the same argument that I had about hip-hop/rap/rock/heavy metal in the 80’s and 90’s. It does not matter what you are listening to, if you have the presence of your parents teaching you right from wrong, you realize these are just lyrics composed for entertainment. I make this point b/c I am guilty as well, I sit in front of the TV, sometimes in disbelief, and watch these shows. I admit that, but I know the difference. I know this is entertainment. I have young family members that LOVE these shows. I have seen young women that idolize Evelyn b/c she threw a bottle. I know young ladies that life should be about sitting around, drinking at brunch and that this should come easy!! This is not reality!
Another concern is that when you look at most of these shows, MOST of these women are now “famous” only because of the men that they were once involved with. How much independence is that teaching our young women? Why would the young girl with little guidance think she has to work hard to be successful, when she sees that she can go sleep with, make a sex tape with, the right person and she will be well on her way. Where is the image of the beautiful woman who worked hard and succeeded. Where is that inspirational story of someone who had a dream and worked to achieve it. Is it that easy? Is that all you need to do to be successful in life? Because the thing that is not pointed out with many of these ladies are the struggles. Those things, those underlying issues that caused them to act in this way. The family problems or abusive problems growing up. The fact that these very men that they were with to get to this point, are no longer there. And even in the midst of this rich, baller, lifestyle. There lives still appear to be lacking as they are all still seeking LOVE. This is not reality. I am just expressing my thoughts opinions on the matter, but similar thoughts also came from the mouth of one of the cast members. If I had written this blog the other day and mentioned Tami Roman of BasketBall Wives, the conversation would have been a little different, but I read an article and watched a video of her commenting about the show. Concerning the show, she said:
“For the first time I looked at my daughters and they weren’t really proud of their Mom and they were embarrassed of me,” she said, welling up with tears. “I have a huge platform I should be responsible, I should be accountable, and I haven’t really been honoring that.” Ultimately, she takes responsibility and expresses remorse for her actions, saying “The only person who I have to blame is me, because I was the one who got up there and acted a pure fool.”
That’s the thing…..Tami said it best…she has this HUGE Platform. I do not know her to know if she was sincere, but I applaud and respect her for saying this. I am not posting this blog to bash these shows, like I said, I watch them. I do not have a problem with someone watching, but it should be watched subjectively and for what it is…entertainment! How REAL is reality TV when you know the camera’s are going to be there on certain days to film?!?! But I wish that with this platform, they would show more depth and a more positive image of the woman. I LOVE WOMEN and I do not want the only image shown on television of women being them cursing, fighting, discussing who the slept with, divorcing after a week-long marriage, putting raw fish in rooms, always dressing provocative, etc. Although I made comments about how they got there…thats the past and can not be changed. What can be changed is the message they project and the impact they have on our ladies of youth. I recently went to hear Dr. Maya Angelou speak and a quote that stuck with me was “WE are responsible for the time we take up and the space we occupy.”
We need those positive images, those inspirational stories, those avenues of hope. We need more Claire Huxtable’s on the screen. Strong, Prominent, Respectful, Career-minding family women! We need more Michelle Obama’s in life….educated, devoted, motherly, compassionate women. We need this! Our daughters need this. We need these rays of hopes. We need these pictures of hope!
Spoken Wizdom 