Boys vs. Men? or Lack of Trust?

If you participate in twitter, Facebook, instagram, WordPress blogging, tumblir, or any other social media outlet(and I am sure it has hit the email several times around), then you have more than likely seen, received, sent, and/or discussed the picture to the left.

I will be honest with you, after seeing/receiving it several times and truly reading it, there are some somewhat valid points on here….but with a catch.  I state that I receiving it several times, because I could not get past the first sentence without quickly searching for the delete button, blocking who ever sent it to me, and shaking the closest man in the area that I thought may feed into this…LOL.  I am making jokes, but there is truth in my words.  Please let me explain.

First and foremost, the first and last sentence of this literature is pure garbage.  This is simply an attempt(be it a very poor one for anyone with a logical mind) to manipulate the thinking of the male reader.  Neither of these lines are truly to enhance the knowledge of the reader with the goal of creating a man.  It is more about giving the female writer something she feels she deserves.  You really feel as though for me to not want you to look through my phone makes me less of a man? or is this just in the relationship sense? Both of which are wrong.  The last sentence is again a feeble attempt to get the man not to question what he has just read.  So quickly let me address these in a lil more detail.

First line:  “A boy keeps a password on his phone while a MAN is confident enough to say “baby can you answer that for me”

Are you kidding me?  I think that sometimes people fail to realize that even with a marriage, people have separate lives.  Marriage or a relationship even is about molding and combining those individual lives together for the betterment of those involved.  It does not mean completely giving up one’s self.  What if I am helping a friend through a difficult situation.  What if there is discussion about private matters related to my job.  What if it’s a surprise for you.  Yes I love you, Yes I am with you, but I still have a life as well.  Where is my RESPECT as a MAN? I have NEVER seen a relationship where either party is SELFLESS(<–please research this word if and its effects on relationships) and it last and/or they are truly happy.  FURTHERMORE, I’m just curious as to why you feel the need to go in my phone? hmmm.  Is it that you do not trust what is in my phone?  Is it that you feel that I am cheating?  Do you feel that I have something to hide? Ultimately what I am asking is, has the issue of a man’s locked phone been discussed for so long because the woman does not trust the man?!?!?!  As a southern pastor would say…”Ya’ll dont hear me…but I’m gonna PREACH today”. 

If that is the case…I can end all that worrying right now and fix it.  If you do not TRUST your man, or think he is up to no good…..here is the million dollar solution…..wait for it………LEAVE!!! Ever think of that.  Relationships, the intimacy you so desire has long been said to be built on trust.  If you don’t TRUST them…LEAVE!  Why go through the hassle?  Because let me share something with you…..If someone wants to cheat…they will cheat…PERIOD!  How do you know they are going to work when they say they are going to work?  Are they really out-of-town on business?  You do not know these things and will drive yourself crazy without TRUST!  This lack of trust will cause you to do things such as….hmmm….want to see a man’s phone.  I mean DAMN…you both have the SAME phone…what can mine do that yours doesn’t?  It’s not that I don’t want you to go through it(and if my wife needs to use my phone…she gets it..not a problem, but that’s b/c she has never made an issue of it) I just don’t see the point.  I never have a never will have a desire to go through my wife’s phone or purse.  As a matter of fact, most time if she tells me to get something out of it, I just take the whole purse to her.  When her phone is on the counter vibrating, I will yell to her…”your phone is ringing” to which she will say…”who is it?”  My answer: “I DONT KNOW….I DIDNT LOOK”.  Why?  Because its NOT MY PHONE!.  If she is doing something, I am a MAN of GOD and feel the truth will come out and I will be better and stronger for that.  That was also a message or plug I will share with the ladies….It would not be as much of an issue with the men if you ladies didn’t make such a big deal of it.  You give the man the impression that you are searching for something.  If feels accused of something whether he has done something or not and you wonder why he is on the defensive.  Ever been stopped by police and searched??

I could go on and on, but I’m not.  Im not finish, but I will take my seat<–love the pastor quotes..LOL!

Last sentence:  “a boy will read this and think this is about him, a MAN will read this and analyze what he needs to work on”

I had a lot more that I was going to say about this one, but changed paths and will try to be brief.  Why would you not want a man to think it’s about him.  Why are you only a MAN if you read and try to see what you need to work on.  If it’s a relationship, wouldn’t it be what WE need to work on?  So for me to be a MAN, I should take what you said as gospel and improve upon them.  So tell me, what are YOU going to do.  This statement is added to make you rethink or mask your feelings if you feel that this is about you.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  Just as you read and ANALYZE in order to grow, such is the evolution from a boy to a man.  Besides, how many times have you heard women in relationships discuss training or raising there MEN…..oxymoron much?  Why try to raise a man.  C’Mon now.  There are some things in the literature that are valid, but the letter in general comes off as somewhat selfish.  Pointing the finger at the MAN about all the things that we don’t do, and feeling as though matching that up with a boy vs. man dialogue will help change the MAN(AGAIN).  And I will say this too….when thinking of the things that make a GREAT relationship….if the first thing that comes to your mind is a locked cell phone and not what he could or could not be doing and reason why he is or isn’t doing them…you have a whole other set of issues and probably just wasted your time reading this blog, b/c I know you were not opened and just enough to read with understanding.

OK that’s it….but I will say that when you looking at most wedding programs and invitations…you see interlocking rings.  Those are two rings…one from the male, one from the female.  both worn on the finger that leads straight to the heart.  You notice that those rings are intertwined, but never completely eclipse one another.  There is a reason for that.  The area of those rings that over laps signifies where TWO INDIVIDUALS unite as one.  The remaining area of the circle express the INDIVIDUAL.  Get it?  Just my opinion and its friday and I am gone!

*I DID NOT WRITE THIS TO BASH WOMEN..I LOVE WOMEN(prev post) AND THINK THEY ARE AMAZING…I JUST LIKE TO LOOK AT THINGS FROM BOTH SIDES OF THE TRACK!! JUST MY THOUGHTS ON THE PIC ABOVE NOT WOMEN IN GENERAL!*